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Discipline
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Learn From One Another
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Modeling
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Consistency is most important,
although it is the most difficult to do. Consistency is not always
easy, but it is always worth it. Dealing with misbeavior immediately
can lead to an easier future . It can be very Remember every misbehavior has an opposite, positive behavior. Use punishment consistently. Once you decided to punish a misbehavior, do so always. If you punish when you feel like it, you will make the problem worse. Use reinforcement when you punish. A behavior that is not rewarded will not occur. Choose punishments that affect your child, not you. Select punishments that are relavent to misbehavior. Try charts, or contracts with your child, give them some control over the importance of their good behavoir.
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As
parents we often think of discipline as a way of controling our
children's behavior. We typically use a given form of punishment
to control negative behavior. Essentially, we establish a pattern
of trying to control behavior with punishment as the enforcer.
This becomes a draining experience for the child and parent.
Without really understanding why we discipline, our goals for
punishing will never be obtained.
Discpline
is a learning experince that teaches the child to make right
decisions. Discipline should focus on working together and cooperating,
not controlling. You and your child learn from each other and
make decisions about behavior in order to achieve the response
you want. For example, if you allow your child to throw a tantrum
when he is unable to get a toy, and you buy the toy because you
are frustrated and do not want to deal with the problem any longer,
your child has just learned from you that he can throw a tantrum
and get a toy.
If
you want your child's behavior to change you need to look at
your own behavior. Try
not to feel threatned or become defensive by this statement. This is one of the
hardest adjustments for most parents. Realize that changing your behavior and making
a commint to change is the very first step. How do you think
your children learn their behavior? They learn by copying. The
child will learn what they hear, see, and observe. This is how
our children learn attitudes, values, personal preferences, and
habits.
challenging, exhausting and even make you feel unhappy, but remember
consistency is an expression of love and caring. It tells your
children they are important.
REMEMBER NEVER PUNISH WHEN YOU ARE
ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!