Friends and Peers During Childhood

 

 

 

If you think back to your childhood, some of the first memories that spring to mind may be of the times you spent hanging out with friends. You learned all sorts of things from your peers about the world outside your family. According to Santrock (1999), by talking to friends, a child may learn that another child's parents argue all the time, make him go to bed early, or give him an allowance. Children frequently compare themselves to their peers. School age children begin to aquire many friendships during their middle and late childhood. Many of these friendships are formed at school. Making new friends is a very important developmental change in a child's life. Santrock says, during middle and late childhood, children spend an increasing amount of time in peer interaction.

Why are children's friendships important?

There are many explanations to the fact that children's friendships are important. Friends provide:

 

Companionship provides children with a familiar partner and playmate, someone who is willing to spend time with them and join in collaborative activities.

Stimulation among friends provides children with interesting information, excitement, and amusement.

Physical support in friendships provides time, resources, and assistance.

Ego support provides the expection of support, encouragement, and feedback that helps children maintain an impression of themselves as competent, attractive and worthwhile.

Social comparison provides information about where the child stands to others and whether the child is doing okay.

Affection provides children with a warm, close, trusting relationship with another individual. Perhaps, two of friendship's most common characteristics are intimacy and similarity.

Intimacy in friendships relates to self-disclosure and the sharing of private thoughts. School-aged children seem to befriend those who are similar to themselves. Such characteristics may include similar taste in music, games, sports, and the enjoyment of others.

Aquiring new friendships during the school age years is very important and may have an impact on an individual's life in the future years. The theorist Harry Sullivan says if the need for playful companionship goes unmet, then we become bored and depressed. If the need for social acceptance is not met, we suffer a lowered sense of self-worth. Friends become increasingly depended upon to satisfy these needs during adolecence. If adolescents fail to forge such close friendships, they may experience painful feelings of loneliness and a reduced sense of self-worth.

 

What makes children popular?
 Popular children Frequently liked by their peers and are nominated as a best friend. They show high rates of positive behaviors and low rates of negative behaivors.
 Rejected children Frequently disliked by their peers and are infrequently nominated as a best friend. They show high rates of negative behavior and low rates of positive behavior. 
 Neglected children Not disliked by their peers and are infrequently nominated as a best friend They show low levels of positive and negative behavior.

 



Bullying is a problem that starts in the school age years. Bullying is defined as the repeated, systematic efforts to inflict harm on a particular child through physical attack, verbal attack, or social attack. It is a very serious problem, one that harms both the victim and the aggressor, sometimes continuing to cause suffering years after the child has grown up. Bullying occurs most often to those children who are rejected. These children have few friends because they are more anxious and less secure than most children and are unable to or unwilling to defend themselves. Bullied childrne are also more often boys than girls.

Santrock, J. (1999) Life-Span Development, (7th Ed.), McGraw-Hill College.

Berger, K. (1998) The Developing Person Through the Life Span, (4th Ed.), Worth Publishers

 

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