Friendship Tips from the "The Fine Art of Friendship" by Ted W. Engstrom and Robert C. Larson
How can you be a good friend?
"We must decide to develop friendships in which we demand nothing in return" (p. 16).
"It takes a conscious effort to nurture an authentic interest in others" (p. 29).
"Each of us is a one-of-a-kind creation. Therefore, it will always take time--often a long time--to understand one another" (p.42).
"Commit yourself to learn how to listen" (p. 51).
"Simply be there to care, whether you know exactly what to do or not" (p. 68).
"Always treat others as equals" (p. 77).
"Be generous with legitimate praise and encouragement" (p. 93).
"Make your friends Number One, preferring them above yourself" (p. 101).
"Love your neighbor as yourself" (p. 116).
"Emphasize the strengths and virtues of others, not their sins and weaknesses" (p. 128).
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What should you do if/when your unmarried best friend tells you she's pregnant?
It is important to be understanding and supportive of her feelings and the situation, because it is most likely a very disturbing and stressful time for her. Let her know you're available to talk and that you will remain friends throughout the situation. Be there. Don't reject her or criticize her decisions. As Mother Theresa said, "If you judge people, you have no time to love them."
If you have moral convictions against premarital sex, be open about your feelings, but pour on unconditional love.
Your good friend starts dating your ex-boyfriend?
If you're upset, kindly share your feelings. Don't go ballistic. It's probable that she is not going out with him for any other reason than mutual attraction. Don't assume she's trying to get back at you for some thing or that she's dating him to purposefully hurt you. Put yourself in her shoes, if you started liking her ex-boyfriend, what would you do?
Your good friend's Mom or Dad dies?
Be there - to listen, to comfort, to cry, to hug. Don't give pat answers or advice or trite phrases. What would you like your friend to say or do if your mom died? Encourage her to express her feelings. Don't shame her or tell her any of her feelings are wrong or out-of-place. Ask her about the pleasant memories she has of her mother or father. Be willing to listen to long stories. Be interested. If you have religious convictions, pray for her or read her comforting passages from the Bible. Feel her pain.
(Special thanks to Audrey, Heidi, Sarah, Hannah, and Anna for their friendship.)