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Aries March 20–April 19
Batter up, the game is about to begin and your average is as low as the
ankles of a hamster. All the strike outs will keep the competition in
the lead, but if you train hard in the off season your game will improve.
So with your next at bat you might score the game winning homerun, if
not at least a double.
Taurus April 19–May 19
The ice is thickening as you strap on your gear for an upcoming match.
The other team looks tough but your stick handling skills will surely
impress the coaches. A battle of epic proportions will have your fists
clenched and your mask off. You can swing until you fall down but look
out for the ref because a two minute penalty will ruin your chances at
victory.
Gemini May 20–June 20
Dust off your pole, its fishing season. Your reel is rusty and your line
is weak but that doesn’t mean that the tuna aren’t biting. While
there are lots of fish in the sea, there are few pocket fishermen to give
chase. Ready your boat for the journey, but be careful not to make waves
that will scare away your trophy.
Cancer June 21–July 21
Your love life is kind of like badminton. Most would not even consider
it a sport, what with the wimpy rackets and the dainty net. Your only
saving grace is that you chase birdies. It’s time to put on a helmet
and run for that tackle! Football is what your father always wanted you
to play, so make him proud. Toughen up, get aggressive, and you will get
your touch down in no time. Don’t forget to try for that extra point.
Leo July 22–Aug. 22
No glove, no love! This is true in fencing and in your romantic endeavors
as well. Life often imitates sport, and baby, you are looking a little
lethargic. Your nemesis is one who thrives on danger and isn’t afraid
of a good poke. It won’t hurt, you have your vest to protect your
heart from any injuries. What does not kill you, will in fact make you
stronger. So battle hard, this is one worth winning.
Virgo Aug. 23–Sept. 21
A quick sprint down the court will leave you breathless, the opposing
team attempts to steal your ball. Fast action and slick moves are just
what the doctor ordered. Get your mojo running and take it to the hole.
Shots from the back court will yield three crucial points bringing you
victory. Don’t miss a shot because that may leave a bad taste in
the coach’s mouth. Act fast, you only have 24 seconds to get a shot
off.
Libra Sept. 22–Oct. 22
Take aim, your life has wandered off course like a cue ball with too much
English. No matter how hard you try things will hook to the left and it’s
going to hurt your long term efforts. In this soft green world of felt,
one must find balance and consistency to sink the shot. In no time your
pockets will be full and you will emerge a champion. A little baby powder
never hurt the cause.
Scorpio Oct. 23–Nov. 21
There are 10 pins in your life, each representing a new challenge on lover’s
lane. These “nice shoes” with a familiar tinge will cramp your
style. As you toss your efforts down the hard wood, like a shiny black
ball, you are distracted by the crash of others easily tossing a perfect
score of 300. FOUL! Too bad you stepped over the line and buddy, no turkey
for you!
Sagittarius Nov. 22–Dec. 21
Fore! You whack and whack but nothing comes of your efforts. Divots flying
everywhere you wonder what its all worth. But by keeping your focus and
taking control of the situation you may turn those bogies into solid shots
to glory. You are no Tiger, but at least your short game will have something
to keep bystanders watching as you break out your putter.
Capricorn Dec. 22–Jan. 19
Lately your love life has consisted of short skirts and pom-poms. Maintain
a high level of optimism as you bat those big blues, things may take a
tumble for the worse. Make your self up and keep on a smile because more
important than your personal performance is that of the team. There in
no crying in cheerleading, even after a devastating mistake causes your
pride to shatter.
Aquarius Jan. 20–Feb. 17
Life has come to lay the smack down on you! There is nothing you can do,
there are no holds barred. All the training in the world won’t help.
Victory is just not in the script. A pummeling is on its way and you can’t
hide from The Rock. You will be lucky to get out with only a few chairs
broken over your head. The wounds will be deep, but they are nothing you
can’t recover from. Better luck next week.
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