Mesa Legend - ARCHIVES - Vol. 40, Issue 4


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Volume 40, Issue 4
October 15, 2002

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Are you Toogood for a bad day?

Danny Alcocer
Guest Columnist

Have you ever done anything that you wish you could take back?

Have you ever said anything that you wish you hadn't?

Have you ever wished that you could go back in time for only 1 minute of your life? Unless you're Jesus I think the answer is yes.

Everyone has done something in their life time that they wish they could take back, and 25-year-old mother Madelyne Gorman Toogood is no different.

By now most of us have seen the scary parking lot videotape of Toogood beating her 4-year-old child while she was placing her in her child safety seat.

The majority of people looked at this and immediately assumed the worst.

I, on the other hand, decided to step back from the situation and play devil's advocate. Choosing instead to focus on what would be best for the child and not on the punishment of one very sorrowful and confused mother.

What the media and the public should be focused on are the facts of this story.

Fact, Toogood has admitted guilt for what she has done, saying, "There is no excuse in the world for why I did it."

She said she "was horrified and sick to my stomach and mortified" when she saw the videotape.

What the media chose to sensationalize though is Toogood's quote stating "I was having a bad day."

This makes it seem as if Toogood gives the excuse of her having a bad day for beating her child which is not the case at all.

What you also have to observe is that there is no right answer that Toogood could have given.

If she says the kid was misbehaving, then the response is what sort of behavior yields that sort of violence.

If she says the kid did nothing wrong, then the response is well then why were you hitting her.

So you see, Toogood was placed between a rock and a hard place and at the media's mercy.

Fact number two, the child was taken to a doctor in New Jersey and examined not four days after the videotape.

What did the doctor find?

He found that the child was unharmed and in good health.

Now, if these beatings were as bad as the media would lead you to believe, then four days would definitely not be ample time for bruises and wounds to heal.

The counter argument being of course is that kids heal faster than adults.

Well I argue that if the beatings are as horrific as most believe then four days could not have been enough healing time.

Fact three, Toogood's daughter has been taken away from her and placed in foster care with strangers.

Where are Toogood's other two sons? They are being cared for by their loving father and other relatives.

There is definitely something wrong with this picture.

If the court has decided that the Toogoods are unfit as parents, then why would they let the two boys remain in custody of the father and or relatives while they isolate her daughter in foster care?

Would it not make sense to take away all the children and keep them together, if taking them away is decided to be the best thing?
Yes, it would be but the concern is not with the well being of these kids but with the punishment of one regretful mother.

Herein lies the problem, Toogood lost her senses for 25 seconds and now she is paying drastically for it.

I can recall numerous times when I sent my parents over the edge and they did or said things that they wish they hadn't.

But no one ever caught them on videotape or threatened to take me away from my parents.

The fundamental argument is that if we give the children back to Toogood then she will beat them again, but what if she never lays a hand on them again.

What if she learned her lesson?

There are no reports of any other incidents occurring before that day in the parking lot. Everyone just chooses to assume the worst, based on their emotions.

If our country is going to appeal to emotion than we might as well return to the Salem witch trials of 1692 and punish Toogood accordingly.

I am not condoning child abuse, but I do believe that spanking a child is all right.

There comes a point when timeout just isn't going to get the job done.

While this obviously was not a case of simple spanking, I do not feel Madelyne Gorman Toogood should lose her children or serve time in jail because that would not be in the best interest of the kids.

Rather parenting classes and weekly checkups by a counselor would be more appropriate.

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