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Volume 40, Issue 4
October 15, 2002
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Legend's View
KFYI hosting Eenie, Meanie, Miney and Moe
For your convenience, appropriate responses to portions of this piece
have been provided and appear italicized within parenthesis.
It may be desirable to have an airsick bag, plastic bucket or other
receptacle in close proximity.
Thank you.
Eenie, Meanie, Miney, Moe.
Catch a governor by the toe.
Yes the gubernatorial debate hosted by KFYI radio left many in the familiar
position of choosing the lesser of the evils.
(Nod head here.)
Although there were many predictable exchanges between Eenie and Meanie,
who lead the polls by the way, Miney got in his share of jabs while Moe's
substandard hacking on all served to reinforce why his candidacy flounders.
Independent Dick Mahoney (Miney) came out of the chute bashing current
leadership for selling out to large corporations at the expense of our
state's health and well being.
He blamed tax exemptions and the alternative fuel circus for Arizona's
current fiscal woes.
Mahoney vowed to implement cut totaling over $300 million and eliminate
sales tax loopholes which will result in an additional $600 million for
Arizona's coffers.
He proposed raising teachers' salaries and courted the senior vote, advocating
funds to be allocated for nursing homes.
Candidate Mahoney also promised to place an additional $300 million into
the state's pocket by consolidating five natural resources departments.
He also defended dropping Arizona income tax, but offered no statistical
information showing the fiscal impact of such a move.
Libertarian Barry Hess (Moe) took a shot at Mahoney, the Republicans,
and the Democrats for their loose spending habits.
After subsequently pitching the removal of government from our lives,
he insisted that we "trust the voters."
Who knows what that means!
He proposed consolidating many of Arizona's school districts (nod in
agreement here) and cutting down on unnecessary administration.
Hess would also remove the federal influence from education, and then
completely privatize it.
He would like to eliminate Arizona income tax. (Sounds good Moe, but
so did the alternative fuel program.)
Hess would suspend unemployment taxes, too, which may seem like a good
idea, unless you are unemployed.
Matt Salmon (Eenie), our Republican option, wasted no time touting his
journey through the state Senate and on Capitol Hill, where he balanced
budgets here and along the way.
Salmon put forth that education was a priority and advocated school choice.
He expressed his support of government accountability.
Interesting, given the pickle his buddy, Jeff Groscost, put our state
into with his alternative fuel issue.
Salmon claimed to be against raising taxes, saying that a 76 percent increase
in spending by the state contributed to our fiscal pain.
Uh, gee Matt, didn't that 76 percent increase occur with fellow Republicans
at the helm?
Democratic candidate, Janet Napolitano (Meanie) also quickly jumped on
the education bandwagon.
She reminded listeners of the fiscal mess Arizona faces after 10 years
of Republican leadership.
She, too, claimed education as a priority (mutter "yada, yada,
yada" here), calling for 62 cents of every educational dollar
going straight to the classroom.
Candidate Napolitano advocated incentives to help attract individuals
of excellence to the teaching profession.
She is getting her spending money by closing those sales tax loopholes,
which opponent Salmon categorized as raising money.
(Sigh heavily now.)
So anyway. Eenie, Meanie, Miney, Moe.
Catch a governor by the toe.
If he can distinguish himself in any possible way without sounding as
far out in the solar system as Moe, what the hell!
Hey, there!
Hi, there!
Let him give it a go.
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