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December 7, 2004
True grinch cheer for Christmas
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Lisa-Jean Mugler Opinions Editor |
Everyone must know that the holidays are the most depressing time of year. Well, that and stressful. There must be gazillion reasons why the holidays are so rough on us.
So I went to the MCC Psychology Department and asked Skip Pollock if she had any observations.
Skip maintains that the biggest cause of holiday stress is what she calls the “Hallmark Card Syndrome;” this is what happens when we are faced with how it “should be” to have a warm, magical holiday.
Commercials and shows on television, and the appearance of so many apparently happy people, put pressure on us to have happy and smiling faces ourselves. But as we try to just get through the holiday season, we get more and more harassed, and frantic, and just plain worn out.
All these factors make a stressful season, many times leading to sadness, the blues, depression, and sometimes suicide. And the worst day for suicides is New Year’s Day. By then, it’s just too hard to cope.
When I was a teen, my pastor told us that depression is basically anger, but the anger is turned inward, and the body can’t cope. I don’t know about you, but the demands on me through the holiday season, coupled with the extraordinary number of people out, and the overwhelming concern I feel at whether someone got me a gift that I wasn’t expecting, (so do I have to give them one?) makes the holidays extremely, well, “challenging” emotionally. Boy howdy, do I get stressed!
But, Skip tells me, there is another part to stress: what the psychology department identifies as “hassles.” These are the nitpicky little frustrations that alter one’s mood: a rude shopper in front of you, being cut off in traffic, little things that take a day from fine to frustrating.
Simple as it seems, the thing that helps is to validate feelings—yours or other people’s—it allows one to move on and put the episode behind them.
So, as my contribution to a happy holiday season, and potentially to “Peace on Earth,” goodwill to all, this year I have a suggestion: be a grinch.
When you feel overwhelmed, say so! If someone cuts you off, growl at them (or bark)- it’ll make someone smile! Then take $5 of that Christmas gift money you worked hard all year to save, buy a cuppa cocoa, and sit down with something that makes you happy for ten minutes!
One of my favorite “cheer-me-up, makes-me-smile-no-matter-when” things is a Maurice Sendak children’s book ‘Where the Wild Things Are.’ Which, ironically enough, I received for Christmas one year.
Think of the things which make you smile, and keep them near this holiday season, and maybe just sharing them at an opportune moment will be a better gift for someone than anything you could buy. At least it won’t cost to try!
A merry holiday to you and yours, from this occasional grinch.
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