October 25, 2005
OPINIONSLadies, give men a break
The word chivalry comes from the French word, chevalerie, which means “skills to handle a horse.” As the middle ages progressed, the term “chivalry” began to change.
Today, the term refers to men’s behavior towards women.
When asked if chivalry is still alive, most women say no. I on the other hand, think chivalry is still alive, and that women have learned to either ignore it, or do not have any idea what it is.
Here is a list of chivalry rules I pulled from several different websites.
1. Men should always open doors for all ladies and allow them to enter first.
2. Men should always walk between a lady and a street.
3. Men should always pull out a woman’s chair.
4. Men should always stand when a lady enters or exits the room or rises from her seat.
5. If a lady arrives at a table with no available seats, the man should stand up and offer his seat.
6. A man should offer his arm when escorting ladies to and from social events.
7. A man should help a woman put on, as well as remove, her coat.
8. A gentleman does not always need to pay but he should always offer.
I read an online poll that asked women questions about these rules I listed.
The last question made it clear that women do not understand what chivalry is.
The question was, “If a date does all or most of the things given in this poll, would you approve of him more?” The primary answers were either no or I’m not sure.
So, I asked a few of my female friends the same question, they all said the same thing. If a man were to do any or all of those things on a first date they would not give him extra points.
The funny thing is, these are the same girls that have complained to me when their dates did not open the car door for them. These are the same girls that say they are “modern and independent” girls who can pay for their own meals.
I also asked my friends what their idea of chivalry is. Most of them did not have a clue or thought it referred to men paying for dates, buying gifts, and protecting them from harm.
In reality, chivalry is a simple set of standards that men abide in order to make a woman feel respected and comfortable.
When I think of dates I’ve gone on in the past, I realize that the majority of men naturally did these things for me. I can not remember a time when a man failed to open my door, help me with my jacket, or pulled my chair out for me.
I believe these “codes of etiquette” are almost ingrained in men and come naturally.
Traditionally, the codes included things like destroy evil in all of its monstrous forms, crush the monsters that steal the land and rob the people, etcetera. Obviously most men can not fully live by the original codes of chivalry.
But in all reality, the majority of men are polite and attentive, are respectful to women, and exhibit manners.
Ladies, chivalry does exist. Maybe women just need to look a little harder. Men certainly have their faults, but give them a little bit of a break. The majority of them know how to treat a woman… Even if it is only for the first date!
Volume 43, Issue 5. Today is
