Does absence make the heart grow fonder?
Is it possible to keep a relationship healthy and alive when your partner is off “colonizing Venus?” Or at least living on a different part of our planet?
MCC student Alex Mesarosh, who speaks in extremities about long distance relationships, compares the average long distance dating couple to an astronaut on Venus and his girl back on Earth.
“It’s lonely in space,” Mesarosh claims. And many MCC students agree long distance relationships can be lonely and difficult. But can they possibly succeed?
Dru Keister, another student at MCC, does not believe they can. He describes these kinds of relationships as “dysfunctional” and “unbalanced.”
According to Keister, all relationships require an emotional aspect, a physical aspect, and a mental aspect.
He describes the balance between these three facets as a triangle with sides of equal length.
A couple cannot be expected to achieve this balance given the lack of physical contact distanced relationships present.“Humans are physical beings and require contact,” according to Keister.
However, MCC student Carissa Widboon disagrees.
A good relationship, she says, does not require a physical aspect at all. A courtship at a long distance is the same as a courtship with a partner who is “10 miles away or across the street.” No comment as to whether or not she believes courters on separate planets can make it work.
But as a general rule, Widboon believes that all healthy, committed relationships can be successful, even given the obstacle of extended distance. Widboon’s success story proves that it can be done.
Her relationship of three and-a-half years survived six months of apart time. Her boyfriend was across the country in Alaska during these months, and she claims that she would still be with him today even if he had stayed there. But that’s not to say that it was easy. “It’s hard and it hurts,” she warns.
And the distance itself is not the only barrier this kind of relationship presents. The unanimity of the students who commented agreed that trust and jealousy play a huge role in long distance relationships.
Keister describes mood swings, lack of group dynamic and isolation from the outside world as the negative effects of long distance relationships that he has encountered. The long distance dater should be aware of these tendencies and do their best to avoid them.
Widboon also recommends establishing trust prior to getting involved in a relationship with someone far away. She believes couples will have a better shot at success if they embark on their relationship before it becomes long distance.
Gabe Goldberg, who has been involved in several long distance relationships including one with a “Puerto Rican belly dancer living in the ghetto of Long Beach,” shares his insight on long distance dating.
According to Goldberg, the success of a long distance relationship is dependant on the “level of passion that can be admitted through word.”
From his personal experiences, he has learned that instinct is the key to all relationships, long distance or otherwise. “If instinct tells me to date long distance, I will do it,” says Goldberg.
He feels that if the passion lasts between visits, a relationship can stay healthy. “Between physical interactions, long distance communication only represents memories or the manifest of those physical interactions.”The majority of students, who commented, however, were against dating long distance. The best way to make it succeed?
In the words of Chris Corn, “move.”
Volume 44, Issue 10. Today is
