FEATURES
Breaking up isn’t all that hard
“It’s not you, it’s me.” “I think we should just be friends.” “I’ve met someone else.” “This just isn’t working for me.” All of these are classic break up lines.
But what does one do once they receive one of these classic lines? Go home and cry for ten hours? Drink away their sorrows? Sleep with the first person they lay eyes on? How can one survive a break up gracefully and then land back on their feet?
Corita Harrell, an MCC counselor, suggested a few guidelines to help one get over a breakup and back on track on their path of life.
Harell suggested that the first thing to do is take some alone time. Evaluate the relationship. What went wrong and what went right? What can be gained from the experience?
Another suggestion is to get to know what were the likes and dislikes of the relationship. When the time comes to move on, there are new expectations.
If it helps, have an imaginary conversation with the ex and let them know all of your feelings without censoring yourself. That way everything is out in the open and everything that needed to be said was and was not interrupted.
Take some time to heal. This amount of time can vary depending on how the relationship lasted and how deep the relationship was.
Harrell recommends staying busy. Find new things to occupy ones self with or rediscover old hobbies that were put aside. Write in a journal to get all thoughts and emotions out on paper. Play an instrument. Take a yoga class. All of these are good ways to stay busy and refocus.
Don’t jump into another relationship. It’s not fair to rush through the healing process to the new beau if there are left over feelings. Every new relationship should have 100 percent of that person connected to the other person.
“Don’t give in to negative thoughts and behavior,” Harrell said. Don’t think the relationship was a complete waste of time. If anything, it was a learning experience and someone better is bound to come along.
Also, don’t go on a drinking binge or sleep around to get back at that person. The drinking will only hurt the body, especially in the morning, and the sleeping around can do both emotional and physical damage. STD’s are not fun for anyone.
Remember to stay healthy. It is common for some people to catch a cold after a break up. “The mind, body, and soul all connect and when one is weak, so are the others,” Harrell said. Don’t neglect things the body needs. Eat well balanced meals. Get enough sleep. Exercise and stay balanced.
If a break up was unexpected or just too much to face alone, the MCC counseling department recommends coming in or making an appointment.
“It’s important after a break up to have self awareness of what you need, want, and is good for you and we can help with that,” Harrell said. It can be hard to process through hurt feelings and the counselors can help talk things out.
Breakups are hard and no one likes to go through them. However, they are a part of life and can be a great learning experience. The end of a relationship can help a person grow and weed out all the bad people, help some find themselves again and develop new ideas about what they expect in a relationship.
Breakups can be necessary evils but can also help someone to re-evaluate and then find that perfect someone.
These books and movies may help get through a break up:
Books:
“He’s Just Not That Into You” - Greg Behrendt and Liz Tucillo
“It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken” - Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt
“If We Ever Break Up, This Is My Book” - Jason Logan
“Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” - John Gray
Movies:
“The Break Up”
“While You Were Sleeping”
“Gross Pointe Blank”
Bridget Jones’ Diary