OPINIONS
Turkey castration, family and the holiday blues
My grandma was convinced that the turkey she had picked out this year had balls. She has been cooking for years, and has cooked many turkeys; and has yet to see a turkey still equipped with his genitalia. I consider my grandma a very outgoing, independent woman; yet she refused to cut off the small protrusions.
She convinced my uncle to put down his guitar, to stop singing the Tenacious D songs he had just learned, and grab the surgery knife.
Meanwhile, as I sat upon the cinnamon couches, my grandpa asked me what I was doing; when I responded that I was writing this column, he came up with a headline that he thought was very amusing, laughed for hours, and then insisted I use it (As you can see, I did).
My cousins and aunt are never on time, so therefore, we held our traditional dinnertime at 7:30 p.m. And while waiting, the rest of us became so hungry and delirious, we laughed for way too long about a variety of things, like the fact that turkey sometimes smells like farts, comments about appendicitis, and how much prettier Mary-Kate is than Ashley.
My sister continued to jump around relentlessly, my ex-boyfriend was constantly being brought up, and we played the best game of ‘Apples to Apples’ anyone has ever seen. We ate the worst berry pie anyone has ever made and left my brother at the bus station in the ghetto for 20 minutes at 11:30 at night.
And yet, as always, all the activity did not hinder our energy until the wee hours of the morning. All in all, it was a relatively mellow night for us.
Oh holidays, do I love you or hate you? I do not wish to be a Scrooge; however, I have never found myself very excited during these couple of months. The holidays are crazy, no matter where we are emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually, a common theme will always be to remember that it is just a season; there is no reason to become unhappy.
I will admit I am not the first to take my own advice. The holidays always manage to help me feel financially insecure, incapable of a decent future, friendless, anti-social, in a constant state of anxiety and fear and completely embarrassed of my family and who I am.
The holidays always remind me of what I do not have, instead of accentuating what I do have. I normally have no problem finding joy in the little things in life, but during the holiday season, these things seem to run and hide.
I am a classic example of a person who thinks his or her family is like no one else’s family. My family is the only family that is embarrassing, that has weird traditions or ways of life, the only family that is not really perfect at the core or has something to hide.
Most of the holiday blues has to do with how we feel about our family, whether we admit it or not. Everyone is embarrassed of his or her family at some point during the year, but that is what makes them in essence, real.
Who am I to say that my family does not bring me joy at all times, even in those times of darkness? I judge my family yet; I give them plenty of reasons to look at me weird, think that I might be adopted, and to just flat out leave me on the side of the road.
Everyone has some sort of family; there are different kinds, sizes and types. During this holiday season, love your family no matter the level of oddness.
Love and find joy in the things they do, because even though we may find ourselves embarrassed or ashamed of them; it is important to remember that most people feel the exact same way.
Everyone has a weird family so embrace yours. Easing the stress on how we feel about our families during the holidays will relieve a little of the holiday “Scrooge-ness” and maybe even increase the joy every other day of the year.
There will always be holiday blues, but our families can be one of those things we worry about the least.
Happy Holidays!
Volume
44, Issue 7. Today is
Ami Johnson
Mesa Legend