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Editing
and Revising
Not even the most experienced professional writer expects to write the first draft of an essay and have it be the last draft. Often, more time will be spent on revision than on writing the first draft. Revising a rough draft will enable writers to produce an essay that is as close as possible to what they really wanted to write. Revision allows writers to express themselves more clearly and thoughtfully.
- The first step in editing and revising is to look at the rough draft as objectively as possible, to see what it actually says instead of what it is supposed to say.
- It will also help if writers will reconsider their purpose and audience to determine if the original purpose is still appropriate for the intended audience.
- It is helpful to revise in stages by looking at the essay as a whole first and then moving on to analyzing its individual parts.
- Writers need to check to see if the essay has a clear focus and a consistent tone with interesting ideas that are well developed.
- Next, writers need to check for clarity and coherence by considering the introduction to see if it has an "attention getter" to "grab" the reader's attention and a clear thesis statement. Then, the body paragraphs need to proceed in logical order with appropriate transitions to help readers follow from one point to the next. Finally, there needs to be a concluding paragraph to summarize and give a sense of completion to the essay.
- Finally word choice, sentence structure, grammatical errors and spelling errors need to be checked for to give the essay its final polish.
The following sections give information on Punctuation and Grammar to help you with your editing and revising.
1.
Commas After Introductory Elements
Commas should be used to set off certain introductory elements when such elements begin sentences.
Words such as no, yes, why, well, oh, etc., should be followed by commas when they begin sentences.
Examples:
- Well, it certainly is presumptuous of Cynthia to assume she is invited to the party.
- No, I do not wish to subscribe to that magazine.
Participial phrases which introduce sentences should be separated by commas from the sentences they introduce.
Examples:
- Hesitating for the slightest moment before entering the room, the professor set his jaw resolutely.
- Enraged by the taunting of the school children, the dog lunged viciously at the fence.
A comma should be used after a series of introductory prepositional phrases.
Examples:
- In the lane behind the house at the end of the street, I noticed several children building a fort out of cardboard boxes.
- After the musical number in the second act, the gentleman in front of us fell asleep.
Short introductory prepositional phrases do not require commas unless the omission of a comma would confuse the meaning of the sentence.
Example:
- In this state, land is at a premium. (The comma is needed in order to avoid reading state land.)
A comma is needed after an introductory adverb clause.
Examples:
- After the storm that devastated the cotton crop, the farmers sought low cost loans provided by the government.
- Until the teachers had accounted for every child, no one was allowed to leave the gymnasium.
2. Commas in Compound Sentences
A compound sentence consists of two or more simple sentences (independent clauses) joined by a comma and a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or, nor, for, yet).
If no coordinating conjunction is used to join the two simple sentences, a semicolon should be used to join the sentences.
Examples:
- Several of the graduating seniors have jobs awaiting them, and two of them have also received scholarships to art schools in Europe.
- Several of the graduating seniors have jobs awaiting them; two of them have also received scholarships to art schools in Europe.
- Fear filled our hearts as we watched the river rise, but we were assured that no harm would come to us.
Writing two independent clauses without a comma and a coordinating conjunction or without a semicolon separating them constitutes a serious sentence structure error known as a fused sentence or a run-on sentence.
3.
Commas With Nonessential Clauses and Nonessential Participial Phrases
A nonessential (or nonrestrictive) clause or participial phrase adds information that is not necessary to the main idea or basic information contained in a sentence.
As you read the sentences below, you will see that the bold-faced clauses or phrases could be omitted without changing the basic information provided in the sentences. These phrases or clauses are not necessary to the basic meanings of the sentences. Since the phrases and clauses are nonessential (nonrestrictive), they are set off by commas within the sentences.
Examples
of Nonessential Clauses:
- James Riley, who loves sports, is unable to participate because of an injury he suffered in a football game.
- The abandoned Silver King mine, which was a death-trap for curious children, was finally filled in last summer.
Examples
of Nonessential Phrases:
- To Kill a Mockingbird, written by Harper Lee, is often required reading in high school classes.
- Clayton Maxwell, hoping to acquire a position with the company, wined and dined the president's daughter.
The phrases or clauses in the sentences above can be removed from the sentences without changing the basic meanings of the sentences. The phrases or clauses are not essential to identify the words they modify. Because specific names are given in the essential parts of the sentences, the clauses or phrases which are enclosed in commas are not needed to identify the words they are modifying. For instance, the phrase, written by Harper Lee, is not needed to identify the book To Kill A Mockingbird.
Essential clauses cannot be removed from a sentence without changing the basic meaning of the sentence. Essential clauses are not set off with commas.
Example:
- Dogs that bark all night should be disciplined by their owners.
In the example above, the clause that bark all night is essential to the basic meaning of the sentence. The intent of the sentence is not that all dogs should be disciplined by their owners, but only dogs which bark all night. If the essential clause were removed, the meaning of the sentence would change. Therefore, essential clauses (nonrestrictive clauses) should not be set off with commas.
Commas are used to separate items in a series.
Examples:
- The package contained parts for the computer, several new pieces of software, and a letter of explanation.
- Participants were required to register at the desk, to select the workshops they would attend, and to fill out surveys for the sponsoring companies.
When the last two items of a series are joined by conjunctions and or or, the comma may be omitted if the meaning of the sentence remains clear without the comma. However, it is usually preferable to use the comma to avoid the possibility of confusion.
If all items in a series are joined by and, or, or nor, do not use commas to separate the items.
Example:
- The cooks created wonderful cakes and cookies and candies.
A series of independent clauses (complete sentences) are usually separated by semicolons. If the independent clauses are very short, they may be separated by commas.
Example:
- The doorbell rang, the dog barked, the baby cried, and my nerves frayed.
Commas are used to separate two or more adjectives which precede a noun.
Example:
- The soft, sweet scents of spring filled the air.
If the last of two adjectives preceding a noun is generally thought of as part of the noun, no comma is needed to separate it from the first adjective preceding the noun.
Examples:
- The first room we entered was a formal living room.
- It was a very volatile stock market last week.
(Living room and stock market are generally considered as one noun.)
Commas are used between two independent clauses (complete sentences) when the clauses are separated by the coordinating conjunctions and, but, or, nor, for, and yet.
Example:
- Melissa had not received the invitation to the wedding, or she had decided to ignore it.
When two independent clauses are joined by for or yet, a comma is always used in before the conjunction. If the independent clauses are very short and no possibility of misunderstanding exists, the comma may be omitted before the conjunctions and, but, or, or nor.
Example:
- The door opened and the guests entered.
Accept
and Except
Accept is a verb which means to receive.
Example:
- We have decided to accept the offer on the house.
The word except, when used as a verb, means to leave out or take out.
Example:
- We excepted the part of the contract which would have required us to paint the house before the buyers closed escrow.
The word except is sometimes used as a preposition. When used as a
preposition, it means other than.
Example:
- We took everything with us when we moved except the fireplace tools.
·
Affect
and Effect
The word affect means to influence.
Example:
- The owner's unwillingness to bargain affected the sale of the house.
The word effect can be used as either a noun or a verb. When effect is used as a noun, it means the result.
Example:
- The argument had a negative effect on their friendship.
When effect is used as a verb, it means to produce.
Example:
- By leaning over the crib and making faces and cooing sounds, he was able to effect a happy gurgle from the baby.
Could
Have, Should Have and Would Have
Some writers use nonstandard English in their writing by using could of or should of or would of. It is correct to use could have, should have or would have.
Example:
- I could have used a cold drink after I had finished mowing the lawn and should have thought of bringing a thermos of cold water with me. I would have done so if I had not been in such a hurry.
It's
and Its
The correct use of apostrophes is important in expressing meaning clearly. Apostrophes are sometimes used in contractions (shortened forms of words) to show that a letter has been omitted in a word. Generally, in writing papers for a class, you should avoid the use of contractions. Though contractions are used frequently in spoken English, they should generally be avoided in writing formal papers .
Example:
- I'd forgotten to bring the proper identification to the examination. (I'd = I had)
Apostrophes are also used to show ownership. When a noun or pronoun shows ownership, it is written in the possessive case.
Example:
- Kevin's wallet had slipped out of his pocket as he got out of his car. (Kevin owns the wallet.)
Writers are sometimes confused in the correct use of it's and its because they make the mistake of using it's as a possessive form, rather than as a contraction. The word it's is always a contraction for the words it is. The possessive form of it is its with no apostrophe.
Examples:
- It's nice to spend time outside after a long day in the office. (contraction = It is)
- The dog growled menacingly as we approached its puppies. (possessive)
Know,
No, New and Knew
The meaning of the verb know is to understand or to become aware or realize.
Knew is the past tense of know. The word no means the opposite of the word yes.
Example:
- I did not know he had said no to the new job offer, but I knew he preferred the old job to the new one.
Their,
There and They're
Their is a possessive person pronoun.
Example:
- The children found their toys waiting under the tree on Christmas morning.
There is an adverb used to indicate a location.
Example:
- I left my book over there near the window sill.
They're is a contraction for the words they are.
Example:
- They're the proud parents of a new baby girl.
To,
Too and Two
To can be used either as an infinitive or as a preposition. When to is used as an infinitive, it must be followed by a verb.
Example:
- I hate to leave my car parked on the curb for long periods of time.
To can also be used a preposition which indicates direction or location.
Example:
- On my way to the airport, I took the road to the left.
Too is an adverb which is used to indicate degree.
Example:
- There was too much lemon juice in the punch and not enough sugar.
Two indicates a number.
Example:
- It will be two more years before I finish my degree.
Who,
Which and That
The word which is used to refer to animals and nonliving objects. It is never used to refer to people. When a writer is referring to people, the word who should be used. The word that may be used in reference to people, animals or nonliving objects.
Examples:
- That is the horse on which Kelly placed a bet.
- The jockey who rode the horse is Kelly's sister.
- Which fabric do you prefer for the curtains?
You
and You're
The word your shows ownership. It is a possessive pronoun. The word you're is a contraction for the words you are. When you are asked to write papers in the third person, you should avoid using any form of the word you.
Example:
- When you're ready to pick up your tickets, do not forget to take your receipt with you.
Pronouns should agree with their antecedents in gender and number. A word to which a pronoun refers is known as the pronoun's antecedent. For instance, in the following sentence, the word book is the antecedent for the pronoun its:
Example:
- The book on the counter lost its cover.
Some pronouns have forms that indicate the gender of their antecedents. Personal pronouns such as he, his, and him are used to indicate the masculine gender.
Example:
- Mark finished his dissertation a year earlier than he had planned.
She, her, and hers indicate the feminine gender.
Example:
- Maggie had completed the requirements for her certification before the deadline.
When the gender is neither masculine or feminine, it and its are used.
Example:
- The storm lost its power over the gulf.
Traditionally, when the gender of an antecedent is unknown, a masculine form of a personal pronoun is used to refer to the antecedent.
Example:
- Each person has the right to his own opinions about the candidates.
However, as concerns about gender equality arise, the traditional practice is changing. In conversation, people often use plural pronouns such as their in order to avoid appearing biased toward one gender or the other.
Example:
- Each person has the right to their own opinions about the candidates.
This conversational form is a form of informal usage, and there are variations in informal and formal usage. Generally, writing calls for formal usage; therefore, it is expected that students use pronouns that agree in number with their antecedents regardless of concerns about gender bias.
Singular pronouns should be used in reference to singular antecedents.
The following antecedents are singular in number:
each, either, neither, one,
everyone, everybody, no one,
nobody, anyone, someone, somebody
Since these words are singular, singular pronouns must be used in reference to them.
Examples:
- Each of the children had to recite his or her lines on cue.
- No one likes to have his or her work ridiculed.
- Neither of the dogs had been given its rabies vaccination.
It is important to notice in the first and third examples above that the antecedents to which the pronouns refer are each and neither. The information contained in the prepositional phrases of the children and of the dogs does not affect the number of the antecedents and their pronouns. The antecedents are singular, and singular pronouns must be used in reference to them.
Singular pronouns are used to refer to two or more singular antecedents which are joined by or, or nor.
Examples:
- Neither Ryan nor Calvin had seen his own performance in the tapes of the game.
- Suddenly, either Karl or Mark covered his nose and stifled a sneeze.
Plural pronouns are used to refer to two or more antecedents joined by and.
Examples:
- Sam and Sonya hoped they would get good seats for the concert.
- Chelsea and Quincey were praised for correctly doing their own calculations for the cost of the vehicle.
Ambiguous
Pronouns
Pronouns refer to people or things, the antecedent.
When a reader has trouble determining the exact word to which a pronoun
refers, he or she may see two possible meanings in a sentence. In such a
situation, the pronoun is ambiguous.
Examples:
- Ambiguous: The student questioned the professor when he left the room. (Who left the room? The student or the professor?)
- Clear: The student questioned the professor when the professor left the room.
- Ambiguous: Jean worked late and did not notify her parents of her schedule. This upset her parents. (What upset Jean's parents? Was it that she worked late or that she did not notify them of her schedule?)
- Clear: Jean's parents were upset that she did not notify them of her schedule when she worked late.
In order for writers to clearly convey what the meanings they intend, they must be sure that pronouns point to specific antecedents.
Pronouns
Without Any Antecedents
Sometimes pronouns are used without referring to any antecedent.
Example:
- Ambiguous: Before a loan is granted, they require a credit check. (Who are they?)
- Clear: Before a loan is granted, the bank requires a credit check
7.
Sentence Structure Problems: Fragments,
Fused
or Run-on Sentences, Comma Splices
Clear and forceful sentences comprise the writer's means of effective communication with readers. When speaking, the speaker's intonations, gestures, pauses, and expressions help clarify his meaning. In writing, these external aids are not available, so careful sentence construction is imperative in conveying thoughts accurately.
Three kinds of sentence errors sometimes plague writers. The first kind is the writing of a part of a sentence as if it were a complete sentence. This kind of error is known as a sentence fragment. The second kind of error is the writing of two or more sentences as though they were one sentence. This error is known as a fused sentence or a run-on sentence. The third kind of error is joining two complete sentences with only a comma separating them. This error is known as a comma splice.
Sentence Fragments
A group of words is a complete sentence when it has a subject and a verb and expresses a complete thought.
Example:
- Complete: After the flood, the barn roof lay in the yard.
- Incomplete: After the flood, the barn roof lying in the yard.
Because it lacks a verb, the last example does not express a complete thought.
Words ending in ing, like lying, are not verbs when they are used alone. Such words may, of course, be used with a helping verb to form a verb phrase. Unless a word ending in ing does have a helping verb, it may not be used as the verb in a sentence.
Example:
- No Verb: Amy competing in the marathon.
- Verb Phrase: Amy will be competing in the marathon.
The
Phrase Fragment
A phrase is a group of words acting as a single part of speech and not containing a verb and its subject. There are many kinds of phrases, but regardless of their kinds, they all have one important characteristic: they are parts of a sentence and must never be separated from the sentence in which they belong. When a phrase is incorrectly allowed to stand by itself, it is called a fragment.
Examples:
- Fragment: I saw Gloria. Driving her new car to school.
- Fragment Corrected: I saw Gloria driving her new car to school.
- Fragment: Aunt Deborah came bearing gifts. A wrist watch for Jean and a ring for me.
- Fragment Corrected: Aunt Deborah came bearing gifts, a wrist watch for Jean and a ring for me.
The
Subordinate Clause Fragment
A second type of fragment is the subordinate clause that is incorrectly separated from the sentence to which it belongs. A clause is a group of words containing a subject and predicate and used as part of a sentence. A subordinate clause does not express a complete thought and should not stand alone.
Examples:
Fragment: The teacher read excerpts from The Red Badge of Courage. Which Stephen Crane wrote.
Fragment Corrected: The teacher read excerpts from The Red Badge of Courage, which Stephen Crane wrote.
Do not separate a phrase or subordinate clause form the sentence in which it belongs.
Fused
or Run-on Sentences
When two complete sentences are written as though they were one complete sentence, the result is a fused or run-on sentence. One sentence is permitted to "run on" into the next. In college writing, this type of sentence error is more common than a fragment error. It is usually a result of carelessness, rather than a lack of understanding.
Example:
- Fused or Run-on: Where are Celia and Robert those two are never around when we need them.
- Corrected: Where are Celia and Robert? Those two are never around when we need them.
Comma
Splices
Every sentence should begin with a capital letter and end with ending punctuation such as a period, a question mark, or an exclamation point. Sentences should not run together without punctuation separating them. A comma should never take the place of an end mark. Connecting two complete sentences with only a comma would result in a serious sentence error known as a comma splice.
Example:
- Comma Splice: Last summer we traveled to Maine for Ryan's graduation, this summer we will return for his wedding.
Corrections:
- Last summer we traveled to Maine for Ryan's graduation, and this summer we will return for his wedding. (Use a comma followed by a coordinating conjunction to separate two complete sentences.
- Last summer we traveled to Maine for Ryan's graduation; this summer we will return for his wedding. (Use a semicolon to separate two complete sentences which are closely related in subject.)
- Last summer we traveled to Maine for Ryan's graduation. This summer we will return for his wedding. (Separate two complete sentences with an end mark.)
- Although last summer we traveled to Maine for Ryan's graduation, this summer we will return for his wedding. (A comma splice may be corrected by expressing one of its parts in a subordinate clause.)
Sentences should be written so that readers find them to be clear and easily understood. It is not unusual for a writer's thoughts to flow faster than he can write. When this happens, a writer will sometimes write sentences as they flow through his mind without considering such things as syntax and readability. The thoughts are perfectly clear to the writer, but may seem confusing or awkwardly stated to the reader. Always review sentences, and check each one for clarity and smoothness. Try to keep the reader's perspective in mind when reviewing and revising the material you have written. It is generally best to state thoughts as simply and clearly as possible.
Example:
- Awkward: If a closed minded professor who cares nothing of essay procrastination wants overtime to be worked, then it is written in stone that the student has to work twice as hard as other students in half the time they give themselves for the work.
- Better: If a professor who gives an essay assignment is not sympathetic to a student who habitually procrastinates, the student is doomed to work twice as hard on the assignment in half the time that other students allot for their work.
Modifiers are words or phrases which describe other words or phrases. It is important for a writer to be sure the modifiers he or she uses point clearly to the words or phrases he or she intends the modifiers to modify. When a modifier is misplaced, it seems to modify the wrong word within a sentence.
Example:
- Misplaced: The feast was placed before the king, a steaming mountain of roasted meats. (Is the king a mountain of roasted meat?)
- Better: The feast, a steaming mountain of roasted meats, was placed before the king.
- (Generally, it is best to place the modifier as close as possible to that which it is intended to modify.)
Sometimes modifiers are used within sentences in which there is nothing for them to modify.
Example:
- Misplaced: Lost in memories of a better time, the train slowed as it approached the station. (Was the train lost in memories of a better time?)
- Better: Lost in memories of a better time, I was unaware that the train slowed as it approached the station. (I was lost in memories of a better time.)
When different parts of a sentence are joined using the conjunctions and, or, and but, the parts should fit into the same grammatical category. If the words fit into the same grammatical category, we say they are parallel. When parts of a sentence stay in the expected grammatical pattern, the sentence moves along smoothly. To maintain parallel structure in the parts of a sentence, nouns should be tied to nouns, verbs to verbs, infinitive phrases to infinitive phrases, etc.
Examples:
- Nonparallel: The process was tedious, intricate, (adjectives) but a success (noun).
- Parallel: The process was tedious, intricate, (adjectives) but successful (adjective).
- Nonparallel: I love fishing, camping (gerunds) and to hike (infinitive).
- Parallel: I love fishing, camping and hiking (gerunds).
11. Shifts in Time, Active to Passive, and Reference
In writing, care should be taken to avoid shifts in time,
from active to passive voice, and in reference.
Shifts in Time: When a writer refers to something that has occurred, he or she can describe the event as something that is currently happening, something that has happened in the past, or as something that will happen in the future. If a writer shifts back and forth in time, he or she will confuse the readers.
Example:
- Shifts in Time: As the first song ended, (past) they find (present) another CD and start (present) to dance again.
- Better: As the first song ended, they found another CD and started to dance again. (past tense throughout)
·
Shifts from Active to Passive: In the active voice, the subject of the sentence should perform the action described by the verb. Writing in active voice tends to be more clear and to make writing more interesting to read.
Example:
- Active: We must take responsibility for our freedoms. (We, the subject of the sentence, takes responsibility.)
- Passive: Responsibility must be taken for our freedoms. (Who must take responsibility?)
·
Shifts in Reference:
Example:
- Shift in Reference: A hiker must make careful plans before you can begin a backpacking trip into the canyon. (A hiker's careful plans will not necessarily help you begin a backpacking trip.)
- Better: A hiker must make careful plans before he can begin a backpacking trip into the canyon.
Nonstandard English can be colorful and full of vitality. There are times that it can provide a refreshing quality to writing, but it is generally inappropriate for formal writing assignments. Nonstandard English and slang are often comprised of words and phrases that have meaning for a relatively small portion of the population, and the use of nonstandard English and slang in formal writing assignments also implies an uneducated approach to the writing.
Examples:
- Slang: Students should hang tough when their profs pile tons of work on them.
- Standard: Students should not despair when their professors give them numerous assignments.
- Nonstandard: They never done nothing for nobody.
- Standard: They have never done anything for anyone
The
Understood Subject
When making a request or giving a command, writers often omit the subject of the sentence. In such sentences, the name of the person to whom the request or command is given is generally the subject which is left out of the sentence. The person to whom the request or command is given is understood to be the subject of the sentence even though that person's name may not be used in the sentence.
Example:
- Understood: Consider all the options before making a decision. (The subject in the second sentence is understood.)
- Better: Mark, consider all the options before making a decision.
When writing an essay, if the writer makes a request of the reader, usually the subject of such a request is the word you.
Example:
- Understood You: Be aware of the consequences of failing to exercise the right to vote. (The understood subject of this example is you. "You be aware of the consequences of failing to exercise the right to vote.")
- Better: Citizens should be aware of the consequences of failing to exercise the right to vote.
When students are directed to write
their essays in third person, they are generally expected to avoid the
use of understood subjects and the use of understood you (also
referred to as the indefinite you). Writing in third person also
means that students should avoid first person pronouns such as I,
me, we, our, us. In order to avoid inadvertent use of the understood
you, supply a subject when writing a request in an essay.
When students write formal papers for classes, they may be expected to write their papers in the third person. This means that the use of first person pronouns as well as the use of the understood or indefinite you is avoided throughout the paper. Though it is not always the case, the use of third person is expected for the more formal papers students write for classes. Some papers that are less formal and more personal, such as personal narratives, require the use of first person pronouns and are generally enhanced by their use.
Examples:
- Third Person: Though there are many speeders on the interstate highways, there is a noticeable absence of Highway Patrol officers assigned to enforce the limits.
- First Person: Though I have seen many speeders on the interstate highways, I seldom see Highway Patrol officers enforcing the limits.
- Indefinite You: Though there are many speeders on the interstate highways, you seldom see Highway Patrol officers enforcing the limits.
- Understood You: Notice that there are many speeders on the interstate highways, but there is a noticeable absence of Highway Patrol officers assigned to enforce the limits. ("You notice…" The you is understood, even though it is not written in the sentence.)